The Microneedling Matrix: Enter at Your Own Risk (and Glow)

So, you’ve decided to jack into The Microneedling Matrix. Congratulations — you’ve officially chosen the blue pill (or in this case, the numbing cream).

First stop: numbing cream. Slathered on like butter on toast, it’s supposed to make you feel nothing. Lies. Absolute lies. You’ll still feel something. But hey, at least you’ll have a shiny, slightly zombie-esque complexion while it’s working.

Next: the cleanse. Your practitioner wipes away every trace of your dignity (and makeup). Your skin has never been this clean — not even on the day you were born.

Then comes the gel application. Don’t be fooled. This is not a spa facial. This is the conductor’s baton that prepares your skin for the main event: the microneedling pen.

And oh, the pen.Those tiny little needles? They pierce. They poke. They prickle. You’re suddenly starring in your own sci-fi thriller. And then… the burn. Oh my God, the burn. It’s like the world’s most sadistic workout — cardio for your face. Forget leg day; this is skin day.

Enter the mask. Cooling, soothing, calming — it’s your Neo moment, dodging wrinkles in bullet time. You feel like you’ve survived battle. But here’s the kicker: the burn lingers. Your skin glows red, like you’ve been kissed by a very angry sun.

And yet, you wait.A few days pass. You think, Is this it? Did I just pay to look like a tomato? But slowly — very slowly — the magic begins. Beneath the surface, collagen is clocking in for overtime. A few weeks later: bingo. Your skin looks smoother, plumper, brighter. Like you’ve been photoshopped in real life.

So when do you see results? Patience, grasshopper. You’ll start to notice the changes after about 2–3 weeks, but the full glow-up? That’s around 6–8 weeks later, when your skin has truly rebuilt from the inside out.

Microneedling: it hurts, it burns, it lingers. But oh, it delivers. Because sometimes, the only way to hack the Matrix… is with needles.

“So would I do it again? Absolutely. Because the burn fades, but the glow? The glow is forever.”

✨ XO, The Confessionistas — AK & JO